Sunday, December 26, 2010

If I Were a Hobo..

♪ If I were a hobo, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, oh, I'd have all the money in the world-
Wait...  That song is terrible.  And completely contradictory when you switch the words "rich girl" for "hobo".
This entry was inspired by a conversation that I had earlier today with a good friend of mine who goes by the name "Jackie".  (Obviously her name has been changed to ensure her safety. (Or has it?))
Anywho, we were discussing whether or not we would allow a hobo to sleep on our couch and the reasoning behind our answers.  We both answered similarly, saying we would most probably let them, but we would hide all valuable possessions in our bedroom and lock the door behind us to ensure that no stealing/raping/murdering would take place in the time that they were living under our roof.  But of course we would do this unbeknownst to the hobo, because just imagine how awful they would feel if they knew that for the time they were in our hospitality we were taking extra caution.
Then we'd have a sad hobo on our hands, and that would be no fun at all.

"Jackie" then turned the conversation upside-down by asking me 'if I were a hobo, would I sleep on a stranger's couch?'  My initial answer to this question was yes, but I'd analyse them first, just to get an idea of their general character and whether or not their intentions were pure.  I'd want to know whether they were offering me hospitality solely out of the kindness of their hearts, or whether they had other intentions..  You never know who you can trust in this world.
For instance:

  • They could be dirty criminals intending to harvest my organs and sell them on the black market.
  • They could kill me and turn my body into a life-sized doll.
  • They could lock me in a room and make me sacrifice something in order to regain my freedom.
  • They could dissect me in order to observe the differences between hobos and 'normal people'.
  • They could tie me down and force me to listen to annoyingly repetitive music.  (I won't mention any names...  Willow Smith.)
..But perhaps I just watch too many movies.  Perhaps there are no people out there who would even consider doing any of the things I've mentioned above.  And if that's the case, then absolutely!  I'd be delighted to rest my weary hobo-bones on their couch.
But then I started thinking; maybe hobo-Sarah would think differently.
In fact, hobo-Sarah would probably have an entirely different outlook on life.  Hobo-Sarah would probably just be grateful that a stranger had offered me a bed in the first place.
I guess we'll only find out for sure when I'm a hobo.

Now, for some audience participation:
If you were homeless and had to stand on a street corner holding a scrap of cardboard for passers-by to read, what would your cardboard say?  Be creative.  Comment.  I dare you.


the moral of this post is:
If, in your travels, you stumble across a hobo, spare the poor coot some change.  Put yourself in their shoes/bare hobo-feet and imagine how you would feel were you in their situation.
Hobos are people too.

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