Game Over.

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always been fascinated by other people’s beliefs and how they can be so content with the stories that tell of how the world and our own very existence came to be.
In my primary school, we were spoon-fed tales from the bible and told to believe every word to be truthful and if we so much as dared to question these teachings, our inquisitions would be met with the threat of eternal damnation. (Well, maybe that's a slight exaggeration.)

Alright, that's it. Straight to hell.

As a result of this, I have backed away from religion entirely (for the time being) and refer to myself as 'agnostic'. My grandma has a definition of agnostic which I think sums it up quite perfectly: she says something along the lines of "An agnostic is someone who does not believe in God, but will not say so out loud for fear that he will hear them."
:P I have an awesome grandma.

After losing a few loved ones when I was young, I found solace in believing that I’d see them again one day in heaven.  As I matured and found out about how many things can be proved by science, I found it a little depressing to think that if there really was no God, then there couldn’t possibly be a heaven.  

And if there isn’t a heaven, there can’t be a hell, which means that this life is all we have.  Which means that after we die, it’s game over.

Which brings me to my next unanswerable question:  When we die (which, let’s face it, is inevitably going to happen someday), will we know that we’re dead?  Or will things just suddenly stop?  Like a power outage..
The lights are on one minute and then, BOOM, they’re off, before you can even comprehend it.
..Except in the event of a power outage, we become aware of what has happened after it occurs.  It’s not like after you die, you’ll think to yourself “Well fancy that.  I seem to have kicked the bucket.”

I guess my lack of belief has at least given me incentive to enjoy life as much as possible while I can.  Now, I leave you with a question.  And I don’t mean to offend any of you.  In fact, that’s the absolute last thing I want to do.  If your beliefs differ to mine, that’s cool.  I ain’t judging.  But anyway, the question:

If God can successfully commit genocide, why is everyone hating on Hitler for trying?

Hindsight: Wow, I'm a really terrible person. :P

On The Brink of Madness.

Well, this year's gotten off to a terrific start.
Oh, did I say 'terrific'?  I meant to say horrific.
First the town gets torn apart by a category 5 cyclone and now a massive flood has come to wash away the remains.
I'm not really that cut up about missing a few weeks of school though.  I guess I probably should be, considering it's my senior year and all.  But I have my biology assignment to keep me company here at home.
It's crazy how attached I'm getting to these bean plants.
-The ones that have decided to actually grow, that is.
A majority of them are just being lazy..  But I can't really blame them.
This rainy weather tends to have that effect on me as well.
A couple of them have even started growing mildew.
Mind you, I probably brought it upon myself by placing them in a fish tank.
I do feel a bit mean for doing this to them, but it's all for the greater good.
All in the name of science!
I'm observing the differences of the rate of growth between plants grown in a sealed environment and plants allowed to grow in the open.
This means I have to provide them all with the same amount of water and exposure to sunlight and whatnot.
It's only been about a week so far, but in this time, I like to think that I've created a special bond between my plants and I.
I had a nightmare the other night about my tallest bean plant dying.
Thankfully, it was just a nightmare.  When I came running out to check on it, it was looking as healthy and happy as ever.
If plants had faces, it would have been smiling.

Good lord, I'm beginning to sound like a crazy person.

Plant'stache.

Oh wait, that's right.  I am a crazy person.
Good day. ♥

Confessions.

There is a new revolution that has somewhat taken over Facebook:
confessions.
This is where someone posts a status saying something along the lines of "For every like, I will post a confession! :D".
Some people's confessions are actually really interesting and hilarious, but a majority of them, not so much.  And when every single one of your Facebook friends is doing this, it becomes quite overwhelming.
It's kind of like, (but nowhere near as annoying) as "Inbox me a number and I'll post a status about what I really think of you! :D".
That one drove me absolutely mental.  What I don't understand is why they couldn't just inbox each person back, instead of posting fifty or so statuses saying exactly the same thing:
"12345: Omg, I luv you so much!  Youv bin there 4 me since lyk evah and I kno we;ll be bfflz!"

But without any further ado..
Behold, my 10 confessions:

1. I have a scar on my right eyelid where I was pecked by a hostile chicken at the age of seven.
2. I have this weird habit of blowing into cups before drinking out of them.
3. I have problems with anxiety.
4. I spend far too much of my time worrying about what others think of me.
5. I'm self conscious about my toes.
6. I keep my opinions to myself for fear of offending people.
7. I am terrified of deep sea fish.  Even pictures of them scare me.
8. I believe we are all inherently racist and that people nowadays are just too sensitive.
9. I don't know how I would have survived this long if I hadn't learned to laugh at myself.
10. I make faces at myself in the bathroom mirror almost every day without fail.

So they're not the most interesting confessions in the world..
I try not to reveal too much about myself in my confessions.  Some people delve deep within themselves and reveal some of their darkest secrets, which can become quite creepy.  I don't mean things like "I drink milk straight out of the carton when no one's watching."  That's cool.  -A little germy, but still nothing compared to some of the things people are admitting to.
Things like "I am bicurious and have experimented with girls in the past."  Fantastic.  You've just casually let 200 or so of your 'closest Facebook friends' in on your sex life.
Some confessions leave you thinking "What are you even doing on Facebook?  You should be in a psychiatrist's office right now, sorting your shit out."
Thanks for reading. ♥

Oh Noes.

Something's not right with me.

I've been noticing it for a while now.

See, the thing is..
I'm getting meaner.

Many people would see this as a good thing, as I used to be waaay too nice.

I mean, it's good to be nice and all, but I was nice to the extent that people would walk all over me.

I didn't know how to say no.  This is still something that I struggle with, but I'm improving.

Slowly.

Behold, an example from my past:

English teacher: "Why, hello there, Sarah.  You seem bright.  Would you like to join the senior debating team?  We're one person short and are supposed to compete next weekend."

Sarah: "Ohh, I don't know..."

English teacher: "We debate over some strikingly interesting topics!  The topic for next weekend's is "Which of these two political leaders had the most integrity: <insert two random names that I had never even heard of.>""

Sarah's brain: "DON'TYOUFUCKINGDARE..."

Sarah: "Er, sure.  I don't see why not!"

...

Another thing:

I used to be sympathetic.  Pathetically sympathetic, in fact.

And I still am..  But only to certain types of people.

Well actually, pretty much all people..  Except for a select few.

One of these lucky few makes it her business to post at least one attention-seeking status on Facebook every waking hour of the day.  I guess over the years this has just gotten to me a little bit.

An example from just a few short minutes ago:

"<insert name here>: feels like banging her head up against a wall til it bleeds."

Upon reading this tragic status, I instantly felt a great deal of sorrow for the poor, unfortunate wall.

And a curious inquisition as to why she was so intent on making a wall bleed in the first place.

Ahem..

To the creator of the Honey Soy Chicken flavoured Red Rock Deli chips:
MARRY ME.

Just My Luck.

As you may or may not know, I have spent the last couple of weeks without power as a result of the recent cyclone.

Category 5, bitches!

The whole experience has been like one really long camping trip.
Sadly, I've never been too fond of camping.

Anyway, back to the point of this post..
Today was school photo day:
The day that stands out as being the single most horrific day of the school year.
The main reason for this is because every school photo day, it's always excruciatingly hot.

It's especially bad for the senior students, as our formal uniform consists of a blazer, which is freaking thick (which is somewhat unnecessary what with our boiling hot climate) and a skirt that comes down past our knees.
Because at a Catholic school, if your knees are visible, you're clearly promiscuous.
Obviously the boy's uniform is slightly different in regards to the 'skirt' part, but you get the idea.

Now in order for me to be ready in time to catch my school bus, I have to wake up at about 6am.
At 'about 6am', it is still pretty dark.
And because I was without power, I had to have a cold shower.
(I am the next Dr. Seuss.)
I then had to continue getting ready for school photos in the darkness of my room.  Let me tell you, it is no fun putting on makeup in the dark.
The whole time I was saying to myself, "Why couldn't they have made school photos one week later when I'll have power...  WHYYY!"

You can probably guess where this is going, so I might as well just jump straight to the ending.
I got home this afternoon after a day of being drenched in my own sweat and looking like death to find that I have POWER.
I'm so happy.
Words cannot describe.
Still, it would have been nice if it had been restored yesterday.. :P

Ambiguity = Fun.

Something I absolutely love doing in my spare time, is posting really ambiguous statuses on facebook.
-Statuses that can be interpreted in so many different ways.
I have no idea why, but it just makes me feel so powerful...  And when people comment on them, it's like I know something they don't.  Which makes me happy.
Especially when it's something that can be interpreted really negatively.
For example:
"<insert name here> just can't do this anymore.."
(Adding a couple of dots to the end of a statement can make it seem so much more dramatic.  Remember this; it will get you far in life.)
And then people comment on it, saying things like "Don't do it!  You have so much more to live for!"

Priceless.

Then I say something like "Calm down, I was talking about my math homework.. :D but thank you!"
It's the little things like this that make me enjoy life.

I also find it really interesting to see who comments and how they interpreted what I have said.
Sometimes it can even give you a little insight as to what people think of you.
That is, if you do it right.. (;
Do any of you do things like this, or am I just weird?