- If you make people laugh, you are most likely being kept alive merely to serve as comic relief and will eventually be killed.
- Your phone will be working just fine right up until the moment you urgently need to use it.
- Same with your car.
- If you are a girl with large boobs and you take off your clothes, you will die. Probably naked.
- Never turn your back on your 'killer', even if they appear to be dead. They never are.
- Kill all clowns.
- If you are the virgin in your circle of friends, you're almost guaranteed to survive, while your slutty friends don't stand a chance.
- If the music starts getting louder, get the hell out of there.
- Avoid having sex in cemeteries.
- And playing with Ouija boards. That's just asking for trouble.
- If a dirty, unshaven service station owner in the middle of a desert advises you to take a short-cut to wherever you're going, for the love of God don't listen to him.
- If you are a baby, you will survive. Nobody messes with a baby.
